Surrender on Shifting Sand

Whenever I wake with that very specific ache in my neck, I’ve figured out that I’m trying to understand and balance something bothersome as I sleep. It’s uncomfortable and I fight it; tossing and turning, pillow doubled or off the bed . . . all in the hope of stilling the ache. Today, I give in and get up.

The sands of my day-to-day reality shift so much, pinpointing the cause of a new ache is pretty much a best guess. Physically stretching is good, but for me, head and heart work is just as necessary. This morning I do both, eventually heading up to my office on a book search. There’s a piece of paper, taped to the far wall, waving at me. OK, I had the ceiling fan going, but this paper was seriously after my attention. I looked over and there was Eckhart Tolle’s brain, in 14 pt, flapping at me.

“Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing. (It) is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from ‘no’ to ‘yes.’ . . . Whatever you accept completely will take you to peace . . ..” (Stillness Speaks)

So, the cause of my aching neck is something I need to accept? Sigh . . . so many possibilities. I’ll need to sift through my lists of unknowns, uncomfortable knowns and crazy-making frustrations. I can call each of these distresses and disasters by name. They are the winds that shift the sands where I’m doing my best to balance, working my hardest to resist the truth of their reality. . . to the point of aching.

“What you resist, persists,” is a powerful truism that pushes me toward surrender. . . when I let it. Surrender and I are not unacquainted – after all, that paper didn’t tape itself to my wall – and it continues to teach me.

~Surrender DOES NOT MEAN giving up, giving in, never again thinking about, or trying to understand, or working to mitigate an unknown, the dreaded known, or a frustrating reality.

~Surrender DOES MEAN Acceptance, in mind and heart, that something factual has undeniably happened, so is now a REALITY – aka, “it is what it is.”

This morning’s painful awakening reminds me I’m weary of reliving a distasteful reality over and over only to realize, once again, I can’t erase its truth. It’s emotional energy and valuable time wasted; it’s the stuff of a stiff neck, an aching heart, an over-functioning intellect.

Thankfully, I’ve also sensed the calming of shifting sands after surrendering to an ugly truth. That calm offers peace . . . and balance . . . and breathing space. And breathing space becomes dreaming, understanding, outside-the-box thinking and planning spaces, which are home to fresh possibilities, the building blocks of new, hope-filled realities.

“Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world.” (Stillness Speaks)

I wish that kind of balance and grace for each of you.

Jane